Monday, January 10, 2005

Okay, Fine. My Top 10

Don't ask me why I linked to normalMode above. Just don't.

Maybe it was because that site's Top 10 list inspired me to make my own. Now, granted, I've done almost nothing but World of Warcraft (I'm not the only one), and so I'm pretty much just going to make stuff up.

Anyway, here we go: The TOP 10 AWESOMEST STUFF OF 2004!!!!

10) Vampire: The Masquerade - Bloodlines
So, it didn't sell a lot, and it was buggy as hell, and it contained some really questionable design decisions (You are rewarded for being a very social-focused character, but eventually you have to wade through combat to win), but damn if it didn't have the finest video game dialog writing in decades. Meaningful choices, real characters, and intelligent handling of mature subjects made Vampire a must-play for anyone interested in game dialog and storytelling. Which is, apparently, only a few thousand people.

9) Cats
Ah, the joy of pet ownership. Months ago, I had no pets, and I find it hard to imagine what life was like then. Thinking back, though, I imagine that my apartment didn't smell like poo, my sweatshirts didn't have tiny white hairs all over them, and I was well-rested and less cranky when I woke up in the morning. That said, they are cutie-wootie, as well as cuddly-wuddly, so, #9.

8) Dracula
I don't think he was involved in any pop culture this year, but Dracula's awesomeness cannot be limited by time. Well, no, he was in Blade 3, but I'll keep him at #8 regardless.

7) Fable
The game to end all games except WoW, Half-Life 2, Halo 2 and all games that came out since dropped this year to a surprisingly hostile crowd. Despite the fact that the end of the game was a bit of a "Haw, haw!" to players who spent the whole game maxxing their melee skills, I played and enjoyed this game to the extent that I was looking forward to coming home from work and popping it in for a few hours. Of course, it only took a few hours to beat Fable, and at that point I was desperate for any reason to come home from work, but there you go. It's mostly on the list because some people at work still complain about it to this day, cementing it in the Not So Much Remembered as Not Forgotten hall of fame.

6) The Show With the What Now
There's always some popular show that I missed during the year, but to be cool I have to put it on my list. This covers all of those. It's either Arrested Development, Desperate Housewives, The Lost, or something like those. Maybe Tru Calling. Who knows. Anyway, there you go. My bases are covered.

5) Space
Space comes in at #5 with a bullet. Mostly because it's really awesome. Filled with spaceships and space pirates and Space Awesome, Space is a shoe-in for the Top 5 of 2005.

4) Harold & Kumar Chase the Burger
Special thanks to the French for their version of the title to the best stoner comedy in years. This movie made Dude, Where's My Car look like Dude, Where's My Car. Plus, Doogie Houser. Honorable Mention: Dodgeball, which in French is entitled, Ball Chaser.

3) Some Book
I never read anything, but there's a book on this list. I'm guessing it's probably the sequel to The Davinci Code or something. Actually, I read the first half of the sixth Dark Tower book, so let's change this to:

3) The First Half of the Sixth Dark Tower Book

2) World of Warcraft
Less than a week before WoW shipped you could hear me going, "Pshht, I am above these petty MMORPGs, this one is just EQ done again, and also you are stupid." Then the game came out, I bought two copies, followed by 2 two-month subscription cars and a second computer. Now if the Nazis need to find me for some reason, I'll be easily spotted sitting in front of my monitor running through Loch Modan. However, woe be unto the Nazi who interrupts my WoW time. Damn Nazis.

1) Canada
Moved to Canada this year. All year long, people told me, "Boy, it sure gets cold here later," but I didn't believe them. -40 degrees Celsius is like the Tooth Fairy of temperatures, except that I've looked every morning and, no quarters. When you're thinking of temperatures so cold that your intestines freeze and shoot out of your belly at supersonic speeds, it's hard to understand exactly what it means. I'll be finding out in a couple of days.

Anyway, Canada wins because it is awesome. Yeah, so the health care isn't free, but it's there when we need it. Yeah, the prices are high, but the good ol' US dollar is dropping, so that'll even out a bit. Yeah, it's cold, but... okay, it's just cold. The biggest problem I've run into is that the people here pronounce "pasta" to rhyme with "masta," as in "masta killa." If Canada and the US turned into giant robots armed only with their respective awesomeness, Canada would win, and it would be saving children and avoiding falling on puppies the whole time.

So, there you have it: my Top 10 awesomest things of 2004 or whatever. Read it and weep.