AWESOME REVIEW: World of Warcraft!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You have to help me. World of Warcraft has my balls. It has them in a tight grip and will not release them. It has demanded that I forego showers, real meals, and spending time with friends who aren't either short, purple, or roughly cow-shaped. God damnit, I swore this wouldn't happen again.

My girlfriend and I made new characters: undead priest and warrior. we played and played, and somehow it was more fun than the last thing, a Tauren warrior/druid combo. Which was more fun than the one before that. Damnit, how can this game keep getting more and more fun? It's supposed to run on addiction, not actual good content (EA, I'm looking at you, foo).

I bought a new goddamn computer to play this, so that my girlfriend and I wouldn't have to fight over it. World of Warcraft has my balls in a grip and will not let them go.

World of Warcraft makes you remember the little perfect things, like the phone number for the nearest pizza delivery place that has the 2-for-1 special and the names of your friends' characters online. You become acutely aware of how much time you spend at work. You gain a supernatural ability to needle through traffic at high speeds because you know that your personal DPS is dropping every second you spend away. And fuck, I don't want my warrior to be any less efficient.

If you ask anyone, they may say the game has problems, and it does: its players. MMO folks have been fishing for things to complain about since sliced bread ("NERF WHOLE WHEAT LOLOL"), and they hit this game hard. Blizzard didn't test a couple of classes enough before they shipped the game, but really, every single class is fun, at least to level 10. Trust me. I've played them all.

The biggest problem with this game is that it has my balls. I wish it would give them back, as I might like to use them someday.