Thursday, December 23, 2004

Have a Moderately Enjoyable Festivus!

What's with you people? Why aren't you out celebrating Festivus?

I figured I'd take a moment to remind us all of the true meaning of the season by beginning the Airing of Grievances. So here goes:

1) Goddamnit, the new Blade movie sucked. You know my detailed feelings on that, so I'll let it lick--er, lie.

2) Despite my desire to love it, KOTOR II hasn't grabbed me in any way. It's probably because it's buggy and weird, but who knows. That didn't stop me when Vampire did it.

3) Games are getting stupider. Are gamers really that dumb, or are publishers going overboard? Either way, there's a fair bit of stupid in the genetic mix.

4) Your face is dumb. No, really. You ought to get that looked at.

5) My balls currently belong to World of Warcraft. I'd like them back. I don't want to walk by a guy selling them on the street. Some people say I should get them permanently attached, but I don't know.

6) One out of every 9 cans of Canada Dry ginger ale is kinda skunky. I don't know why. I still drink it.

7) Whoever invented cats also invented evil, and they include a little free sample of evil in with the cat, like how you used to get Myst free with everything you'd buy in the mid-'90s.

8) Crunch time is likely to begin anew in January, and I was just getting used to having weekends.

9) My driver's side window on my car is busted. It wil go down, but not back up. This wouldn't normally be so bad when the temperature is -25 degrees Celsius, but it sucks when I have to open my door to punch in the parking keycode or accept poison from the local drive-thru burgermart.

10) This list only goes to 9.

There are a lot more, but I can't say them here because I have to go ship presents that won't get to their recipients before Valentine's Day, because Customs is slow and so is the post office. Ooh, add that one up there, too.

In short, I hate you, games are dumb, and Blade: Trinity sucked.

Happy Festivus.