OMG WORLD EXPLODES!

So, today is the release date for Half-Life 2, the Halo 2 of PC games. The game apparently involves shooting at little scampery aliens that latch onto people antd turn them into zombies, as well as an epic struggle against a giant robot machine of death. Sound familiar? To be fair, Half-Life 2's video demo came out long before Halo 2's ripped it off for its single-player game, so I give the points to Half-Life 2 this time.

Because every man, woman, and child on this earth is getting Half-Life 2 beamed directly into their brains today, there's no need to review it. You will be forced to play this game by your secret masters, and you will like it. Pay no attention to the vile GameSpot and their somewhat honest rating of 92%. A shooter's rating is directly proportional to how long you've know about and been waiting for it, with a factor for how good its prequel was. In this case, 6 years + awesome first game = SERVICE MEANS CITIZENSHIP.

When you play Half-Life 2, your pants will likely burst into flames. Don't blame me when it happens.